


Alad V's Bizarre Adventure: Spoiling Some Salad

by orphan_account



Category: Warframe
Genre: Alad Gets his Salad On, First Person, Hot Salad on Salad Action, M/M, NSFW, OOC, Two Salads One Prova, selfcest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-15 04:46:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7208270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In today's episode of Alad V's Bizzare Adventure, our titular hero finds himself in the world of the Simulacrum, only to find... himself.  Major spookiness ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alad V's Bizarre Adventure: Spoiling Some Salad

My eyes fluttered open. A holographic-looking space surrounded me as far as I could see, block-like platforms floating far above me, and the surface I stood on looked hollow. Dark pillars surrounded me, lined with a white light. The floor seemed to end by the scattering chunks that floated further away. Studying myself, I looked to be unscathed, and I still had my collar. What had happened prior to this situation, however, I could not remember. My memory of the last place I was was completely wiped.

"Hello?" I shouted, my voice echoing across the space. "Hello? Is anyone here?"

My questions were answered in complete silence. Where was I, I thought. Could this be my eternal prison, for what I have done? For messing with the unknown, killing and deforming the very Tenno that could've helped me? The Zanuka Project went through several a Tenno, only to fail completely. This is my punishment for my sins, I suppose. It was only inevitable to happen.

Wandering around the unknown, I found nothing that signified where I was. I was lost, without anything to defend myself. I walked over to a nearby pillar and sat myself down by it. There was nothing I could do to but sit and think. The silence of my surroundings helped, allowing me to think clearly to myself. The more I sat, however, the more I realized that this was my fate.

Was I to cry? No, it would be inappropriate and unprofessional. After all, I am THE Alad V, a member of the board! Or... so I was, once. After what has happened, I have been stripped of my title, despised by my very kin. I have nothing left. No home, no wealth by my name. By Corpus standards, I am nothing. My eyes began to water, and wiping them with my gloves was to no avail. I couldn't do anything, and everything I have done was my fault.

I cowered to myself, whimpering, for it was all I could do. My sobbing echoed throughout, amplifying my embarrassment. While I thought I was alone, only the Void could tell if there was anyone around. Between my whines, however, I noticed a particular blue glimmer from the corner of my eye. My sobs turned to fear. I was unsure what was there, but I was sure that it was bound to kill me. I deserved it, without a doubt, for my greed preceded my senses.

The light was, in fact, a hologram, which was both similar to me, and significantly different. Large, bulbous growths came out from his arms and legs, while spikes came off of his collar. When the hologram completed itself, I found that it was, in fact, a copy of me, prior to recieving my cure for the Infestation. How a duplicate of me was to exist, I will never know. 

The clone looked at me in horror. "You're... you're me!"

I looked at myself, then back to him, then back at me, then back to him, then back at me, then back to him. He was on a Zanuka. Backwards. "But... you're me!"

"So... I do get a cure?" the Infested Alad pondered, putting his hand on his chin. "But, from where, I must ask."

"The Tenno, my colleague" I answered. "It was the Tenno."

"The Tenno despise me. I tore apart their kin, limb by limb, to create some sort of... disgusting machine!"

"So I did. You'll get a cure, trust me."

"I will, whenever I find a way out of here."

"There's no way out." I stated, getting up from where I sat. Our heights matched completely. "I've been walking around this place for what seems forever now, but I simply cannot find a way to leave."

"So you're saying... we're stuck here forever?"

"Yes, yes we are, Alad."

"Well, we might as well fuck, then. The fandom demands it," My infested twin shrugged. "I suppose you want... this?" My twin flirted, unzipping his old man pants to reveal is his large, pulsing Mios. It was beautiful; from the sight of his large growth, my Prova was channeled against my tight, aristocratic rubber pants. 

"A-ah, Dios Mios!" I cried. He helped me take off my clothes, caressing my profit-makers with his Infested hands. I shivered, lowering myself down to my hands and knees, spreading myself for him. I was ready, I knew it. He loomed over me, wrapping his arms around my body. I could feel his hand wrapping around my platinum Prova, his other rubbing on my leg. His mutalist member pressed its head into the opening of my void. The sinew sex of his was fibrous, covered in bulbous, glowing cysts. My copied self cocked to the side, then kissed my cheek, leaving Infested residue.

“Alad, oh, Alad,” I moaned, my own breathing shortening. “P-Please…o-oh, please…” 

His breath was loud and heavy, as if he was ready to release after decades of not doing so. "I love you, Alad," he cooed, his voice suddenly becoming unsteady. My twin began to pace himself faster and faster, pounding his succulent Cestra depeer and deeper inside of the void. I could feel him getting ready to give his profit unto me. In the heat of the moment, I came, my profit dripping off of my Spectra. I gave cries of delight, hoping for my lover to do the same.

He gave his profit unto me, moaning loudly while the drippy residue dripped out of my void. It was then, however, that I realized my mistake. The Infestation rapidly spread through my insides, and I could feel myself decay by the second. Within moments, I blacked out, unable to feel or see anything...

* * *

"Oh, curse this Simulacrum!" Cephalon Simaris yelled to himself. "I can't even get myself a good cyberwank without someone or something dying! Every single time..."

Simaris was angry, to the point where he wanted to slam his fists on something, given there was something to slam them on and if he had physical hands. “Wait…” he paused. “The Tenno! I could get the Tenno to find more things for me to… uh… research. Right. Research. By the bytes, I hope the other Cephalons don’t see how much of a loser I am.”

The Cephalon floated about, waiting until a Tenno came along. About half an hour later, a clueless Excalibur of an unranked mastery came along. He saw his usefulness to him, and how his inexperience could be taken advantage of.

“Tenno, could you please help me with a… venture of mine?”

The Excalibur nodded.

“Okay, just walk into that odd platform, Tenno, and enter the Simulacrum,” Simaris instructed.

The Tenno followed his orders, entering into the Simulacrum. Rather than spawning anything, he just sat on the floor, looking aimlessly around him. Excalibur took out his MK-1 Skana.

“No, no, Tenno! What are you doing!”

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: The entirety of this fanfiction is a joke. It is not meant to be serious, nor in-character. This joke stems from a Warframe concept I created, involving a "Boss Rush" mode with randomized bosses. The tagline for it on Tumblr was "You ever wanted your Alad V x Infested Alad V slash fic to be for real?"
> 
> Now it is.
> 
> Enjoy this disgusting amalgamate of words. I'll be busy trying to submerge my eyes with bleach.


End file.
